First Timers

First Timer

What was the latest thing you tried or experienced for the first time? A recipe? Skill? New exercise routine? Talking to your neighbor? A rollercoaster? A change in relationship? Recently I was listening to a new mom of a two month old. She expressed how she had never felt so inadequate and also never relied on Christ more through this transition of being a fulltime mother. I smiled as she spoke, thinking of how I too felt that way at the beginning of this transition. For myself, I was thinking, I need to remember when something else new comes along (as it inevitably will)… Hello, of course I feel inadequate because. I. Have. Never. Done. This. Before… but I am enough to learn more, to partner with my Heavenly Father and be taught by Him as to how to navigate this new part of life. This is all of our first time having a body, growing, taking on new roles, working, developing new skills, relationships, knowledge, and trying to become like Christ today. When we try anything new, we will have experiences of both satisfaction that we actually are not that bad at whatever then turn around and get smacked in the face by an experience where we feel as though we are a failure and should just quit.

I would hope that when you or I feel as though we are a failure, that we remember who we are. We are children of GOD, the all powerful being who is our FATHER and as His child, we have i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. potential to expand Every good thing about us as we seek Him and follow Him. And guess what? You are not alone. Just like that new mom shared similar feelings as I did in those first few weeks of becoming a mom, others are experiencing things for the first time too that you could help and uplift as you cheer them on and help them. On the flip side, when you feel inadequate, remember all those other instances where you felt similarly but as you kept at it, worked at, gave yourself time… how you blossomed and became so much more capable! You got this! I hope that we will let ourselves be first timers in as many good things as possible and let the Savior help us make the most of all our efforts because He can and He will, if we let Him.

There is a promise in 2 Nephi 32:9, “But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.” In the verse just before this one, we are reminded of how the Devil does not want us to get any help from our Father. The Devil wants us to be stuck in that feeling of inadequacy and failure. If we ever have the thought to not involve God in our challenges and opportunities, then that is from the Devil, a being who wants your life to suck and who does not want you to experience the joy that comes from trying and succeeding,“for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.” 2 Nephi 32:8.  So let yourself succeed! You are powerful! You are loved! You can do hard things! You already have done hard things and new ones will come your way and when they do, you can welcome them rather than resist or make yourself miserable in the process. Now come tell me about something you kept trying at and are now more capable then before!!!

Here is one from me: The new mom mentioned in the beginning was overcome with emotion as she relayed her feelings and I was as well, but with a smile and gratitude because I had expressed similar feelings when Sailor girl was almost two months old. Then, I was super tired all the time, I did not know Sailor well enough to know her hungry cry from her tired, messy diaper, or need to be held cry. I was having trouble with breastfeeding and was experiencing an anxious sweat in anticipation for when she would feed next because I did not know if it would go well or not-meaning, would she feed from me or would I need to hurry and pump to get her milk or hurry and warm up a bottle of already expressed milk, if there was some. I was not enjoying this transition into motherhood and did not think I was doing well. Looking back on it all now, I totally had the Baby Blues. I felt inadequate, anxious, stressed, tired, overwhelmed, while also grateful for a healthy baby, a husband who has a job, food from neighbors and family, nice fall weather that I could bask in and a stroller for walks.

The difference between my experience then versus now is TIME. Sailor girl and I are thankfully together basically all day, every day and I know the difference her cries, what she prefers and does not. Sailor also knows me better, she knows my touch, my voice, my emotion and can give it back as I smile and kiss her and hold her lovingly. I love being a mom and am grateful that her and I will get to keep having new experiences together and help cheer each other on. Every day will be something new and it makes me happy to know that although I may struggle to get some things right, I can access the help of my God, my loving Heavenly Father, through prayer and simply seeking His will as I read His holy word. YAY!!! Go dominate and come share your experiences with me! I love you!!