Being pregnant and having a baby is so fun! Truly, to see your body adapt, expand, and create a baby is intriguing. Our bodies are amazing and while there are all sorts of stories, fears, questions, body types, desires, experiences, I would like to offer my positive experience to whoever feels they would benefit. I all-caps some of the paragraphs so you can skip ahead to certain parts you are more interested in as I did include almost every detail... ha. This depiction is for me and I want to remember all that I can of this dear occurrence. I was fortunate enough to not have any complications and all went extremely well and smooth. So while you may hear horror stories, I hope our story provides a source of excitement and hope of a positive pregnancy and birthing experience. I attribute much of the experience to a positive, healthy, educated mindset. I felt I achieved this before and during my pregnancy through listening to others, as well as, the way I talked about myself and hopes of future experiences. One super helpful person I listened to was Lauralyn Curtis. Both Nate and I took a hypnobirthing class from her which helped us be informed (and awe-struck) of what was occurring within me and what would occur during birth hormonally and physically with muscles and such. We were armed with positive, not naive or unrealistic, affirmations to help pregnancy and labor be a delight. Some examples of the affirmations are, 'I respect and love my growing body.' 'My body and my baby are healthy and strong.' 'My baby knows when and how to be born.' 'I enjoy eating healthy nutritious food.' Little awesome thoughts that may seem hippy or silly but totally reset your brain to have a positive outlook on every aspect of the pregnancy and birth. It helped so much having my husband say some of the affirmations to me and support by being more understanding of what was going on with me. I would highly recommend taking this Hypnobirthing class, or at least some preparation class, to help you be confident and excited with your ever changing, or future changing body, whether you plan to have a c-section, epidural, or unmedicated birth. Any way you dice it, bringing a baby into the world is incredibly honorable and for me, knowing what was happening in my body made the whole process of growing, birthing, and now caring for a baby a preciously solemn and expanding experience. You mothers and future mothers have my total respect!!
THE DAY! - The day Sailor was born started out like any regular morning of me getting up and making Nate breakfast and helping him get off to work. I looked around at the house and was trying to figure out what more I could do to clean or organize in preparation for her coming but I had done everything I felt like was urgent and even beyond that too. I decided to relax, as Nate has so often encouraged me to do. I decided to paint my toenails baby pink in excitement and then went to go play the piano. I was able to play for a while when I had a contraction. I had had contractions before that were like a second long, no big deal. But this one was a few seconds.... like, heyyyyy I'm yo uterus and here I am woo woo! I didn't think much of it and didn't get my hopes up at all because I've heard of so many people experiencing false labor, so I just went about my day and continued to have repeated 'hellos' from my uterus, thanks!
I had made plans at lunch time with Brynne Wise to deliver 'Thank You' notes, as she had had baby Holland a few weeks before and our ward threw us a joint baby shower. As we were delivering them, I had to lean over (discreetly) while we were talking to the different ladies because the contractions were getting longer, like 20 or 30 seconds. I was able to disguise them well and when we were done, Brynne wanted to walk me home. We took the long way hoping to enjoy each other's company in the sunshine. As we were walking, I had to stop to focus and breathe 3 different times as I was experiencing contractions growing in intensity. EXCITING!!!! But. Still trying not to get too hopeful that what I was experiencing was the real deal.
LABORING AT HOME - When I got home, I started working on the contract for the tenants of the 4-Plex we were going to close on in the next few days. I was looking up the language to use for the terms on pets and cleaning checks when I needed to leave the computer to get in a more comfortable position to endure the contractions. It was in this moment I started using the tactics I'd been taught in my hypnobirthing class. I got my yoga ball and started swaying my hips with my arms and head laying on the end of the bed. In between contractions, I was looking at the hypnobirthing book, reminding myself of what was going on with my body and how to handle it. For example, what muscles are involved in preparing for birth and what hormones are at work so that I could help my body. My contractions started getting longer and closer together like every 10 or 15 minutes. I decided at that point to download a contraction app and began timing them. At this point, it was 4:15pm and I text Nate and told him not to get excited but that I couldn't work on the contract anymore and had downloaded a contraction app as things were getting more intense. He asked if he should come home but I told him to stay, that I could endurrrrre the next 45 minutes until he got home from work. Well things got more intense very quickly after that. Thankfully Nate came home after I had sent him that text, so we labored at home for the next two hours. I hadn't eaten since breakfast (I had lost my appetite the past few days which my OB said is common, I guess) and Nate said that we should go get Zupa's- my fav- and drop off some packages at the post office. I was going to go but things were getting more intense and I told him I didn't want to be sitting in the car or waiting in line when I was experiencing this and so he went without me. My contractions started getting SuPeR intense, like sitting on the ball was not enough. I felt the need to put half of my body on the bed and then lean over and hug the side of the bed and... did my best to remember to breathe. I was taught that if you relax and the contractions are false, that taking a showering or whatever relaxing method you use will help contractions stop. False labor, meaning your body is just practicing/ getting ready for birth but won't lead to it. With this in mind, I decided to hop in the shower. Didn't stay in there long because things only intensified and experiencing intensifying contractions in the shower didn't feel safe or comfortable being surrounded by such hard surfaces. Eh! The contractions were getting closer, anywhere from 3 to 8 minutes apart and as they got more intense, I would be on all four on the bed moving and doing anything to distract myself from the intense pressure I was feeling. (How many more times can I use the word intense?! Most intense experience of my life and don't feel any other word is as good at describing the intenseness of feeling! Ha woo). Sometimes at the end of a contraction I would smack the wall with my hands(getting all dramatic) and let out a grunt. When Nate got home from the post office and Zupa's, I was experiencing my most intense contraction yet and he looked at the contraction app and was like, 'We should go to the hospital!' But I didn't want to because I wasn't having minute long contractions, every four minutes for over an hour like they say you need to before going to the hospital (411). Nate lovingly argued that on average, I wasssss experiencing 411 even though some of them are further apart, some of them are really close together too... but I refused again. After a few more intense ones, we decided to load up and go.
THE DRIVE- The car was already loaded with our hospital bags, had been for 2 weeks with our excited anticipation. I can't even remember what else we grabbed but we got into the car super fast and started driving at 7:02pm to the hospital. On the way there, I had several contractions and Nate tried to give me counter pressure by pushing on my knees. One of the times it felt good and another time I yelled at him not to touch me. Ha ha I apologized and told him I wasn't mad at him, it was just really intense what I was experiencing and I didn't mean to come across angry when I told him not to touch me. Funny how that is, how sometimes what he would do to help me feel good and other times I just needed to be left alone.
GETTING TO THE HOSPITAL, CHECK-IN - As soon as we parked at the hospital, I got out of the car and stopped on the grass to endure a contraction. Had another one in the elevator and again by the door leading into labor and delivery...
When they picked up the phone to allow us to go into the floor they asked why we were there. Nate looked at me and said, 'I think we're having a baby!' ha ha and they let us in! From there and they checked me in and I went into a different room with a nurse so they could put the monitors on me and see how much I was dilated. I wasn't expecting much because again I had heard have so many people go the hospital and then they get sent home. But as she checked me she informed me that I was a 6!!! A 6!!! I excitedly asked her if this was it? That my baby girl is coming tonight? And she said, 'Yes! This is it!' It was super annoying to be hooked up to the monitors because I wanted to move during contractions and they kept falling off and so. You have to have the monitors on for like 20 minutes or something to monitor you and your contractions and the babies heart rate but they kept falling off and so I would hold onto them during contractions so that my time would not have to keep starting over.
MOVING TO THE BIRTHING ROOM - Things were going well until they moved me into a different room. When I got in there, the room didn't have what I saw online... what the?!... for example the birthing ball and squatting bar and the tub... I didn't see it. So I asked for those things were in a hurry and got them for me. I had really helpful nurses! As I labored on the birthing ball for a little while, one of the nurses kept on reminding me to relax my forehead and shoulders. I had no idea that I was so tense and I literally had to be reminded every contraction. I got to the point where the birthing ball wasn't enough and I had the urge to be on all four and on the bed. A standard procedure is to have a drip line inserted to a vein so that different medicine or fluids can be administered at any time if needed. I requested to not have mine in the back of my hand but on my forearm, as I knew I would be moving a lot and also wanted to be able to have Nate hold my hand in any way, unhindered. The nurses met my request... I hate needles but they did such a good job! And it was a good thing cords and such were out of my way because I was all over the place.... Moving on and off the bed, watch out! ha ha And would often lay back onto Nate to rest in between waves. At moments like these, the affirmation, "Each wave is bringing me closer to my baby,' totally helped me embrace the contractions/waves rather then resist because gosh darn it, I wanted her here! Then, contractions were so intense that I was hanging onto the back of the bed while being on my knees and I would hold on really tight to the bed and scream during contractions- it what I felt like doing and it was distracting. Again, I had awesome nurses that reminded me to breathe, to push the air out instead of screaming, and that was very helpful too. In that position was when one of the scripts from the Hypnobirthing class was really helpful, The Colors of Peace. You imagine colors and them entering your body to relax different parts... may sound ca-razy but our minds are amazing and it worked for me! It was here I imagined the color red, breathing it in and down to my uterus to warm and relax so that Sailor could come. I imagined her tucking her chin and being in the optimal birthing position and of my hips opening to let her through. I had to trust my body!
Every time I thought of an epidural, I quickly dismissed the thought and replaced it with how awesome my body was doing. It was while I was doing that that I had the urge to push and just did it. While in this position, my water broke and the nurse told me my contractions would be stronger and more difficult because the padding of the water was gone. Honestly, I didn't notice a difference and was scared for the next contraction thinking it would be very painful... but it wasn't, that was a relief. A few contractions later my nurse noticed that I was bearing down and asked if I had the urge to push and if I wanted to and I was like, don't talk me and YES!!! But she wanted to check to see if I was dilated to a 10 and I was super annoyed and was like do you have to check?! I guess that's what they do before they call the doctor in. Every time she went to go check I would have a contraction and so it was hard for her to check, but when she finally did she was like, Yep you're a 10 and so they called the doctor in. At this point, I was now laying on my left side curled up in a ball and hugging the side of the bed really tight through contractions and was pushing when the doctor came in.
DOCTOR ARRIVES - She had Nate hold my right leg and the other nurse hold my left leg to give me counter-pressure during waves, which felt awesome. At this point I could feel Sailor about to come out and also felt like I needed to take the biggest poop of my life! Ha ha so the doctor would have me breathing and then push for 10 seconds and do that three times before I rested. It felt so good! And I felt like she was almost there. The contractions were super intense though, and in my mind I prayed and told Heavenly Father I don't know how much longer I can do this and needed him to let me know how much longer I would have to so that I could stick it out. He informed me that it would be 15 minutes. I was like, OK I can do this! Fifteen minutes is not long, besides, time feels so warped anyway I think it went by super fast but super exhausting as well. While I was pushing, the doctor could see I was about to tear in 3 places and asked if she could cut me to prevent multiple tears. I gave my consent and the cut was not a big deal, almost a relief (but I would later find out, would be the worst part of recovery... ouch!) What they had me do was take a deep breath and then push as hard as I could for 10 seconds, then deep breath, push, deep breath push for 10 seconds then rest. I had done a few rounds of that when I started a new rounds and right before Sailor came out I had done two of the three pushes and had to stop. I felt like my bum was going to have the most insane Charlie-horse of my life. And so I stopped pushing and took several deep breaths. The nurse and doctor were very calm and patient with me and encouraged me to keep on pushing but I told them I needed to wait and I had to mentally prepare myself and kept on saying, 'OK OK OK' like trying to psych myself out that I can do this even though my body was so so tired. I took in a deep breath and pushed super hard and it was in that last push that my baby girl came out! It was very smooth. Her head and the rest of her body came out with one slip and the doctor let Nate cut the umbilical cord. While they took care of her, I birthed the placenta which was no big deal at all, one push and it was over. What I was NOT expecting was having my huge belly pushed on. They do this to help get the blood and extra stuff out that was involved with the birth. I let out a yell when they did that, ha. After Sailor was dabbed off, they put her on my chest. She was crying and the first thing I said to her was 'Oh, my baby!'
SHE'S HERE - As I held miss SaySay, the doctor began informing me she would stitch me up and cleaning up down there. That was uncomfortable and I was wincing, so I had Nate hold Sailor while I endured this final part. It felt nice to just lay back and know she was safely here... that my body did it! There were no complications and we are both healthy. I felt like I had just completed the most incredible workout of my life, and as with any good workout, I was experiencing a high of euphoria! After I was stitched up, I got Sailor back and I was invited to feed her. I was totally perplexed and didn't know about yet another incredible feature of the female body to produce colostrum. Sailor was indeed hungry and it tickled as she drank. After, one of the nurses assisted me to the bathroom! I was afraid to go pee but it was just fine as they give you massive pads and stretchy underwear to put on and an ice pack. They also provide a water bottle to squirt to get off blood and other fluids, as well as numbing spray and wipes. I wasn't expecting or aware of this aftermath but was so appreciative of it. I felt so well taken care of after doing such a hard and significant thing and I so appreciated the nurses and Nate's care! When I got out of the bathroom, I sat in a wheelchair and got to hold Sailor while I was transferred to my room for the rest of our stay. When we got there, I finally ate my Zupa's, which was still delicious by the way, and drank lots of juice and water. For the rest of the night, I did skin-to-skin with Sailor and did not sleep one bit. I didn't even try to sleep! I was so happy she was here, I wanted to bond and did not want this constant companion of mine for the last several months to be away from me. I wanted to get to know her, to continue holding her, to grasp the reality of the situation that I, me, have a daughter! The skin of her back is incredibly soft and I kissed and gently rubbed my cheeks and nose through her long thick luscious hair. My BABY!
THE STAY- Nate went to bed about 11:30pm and turned on Jennifer Thomas radio on Pandora for soft background music. We had purchased Pandora 1 for the labor but, didn't even use music but I am so glad I had it for that first night. The most inspiring songs came on, without any disturbance of commercials. A new favorite was 'The Pigeon River' by Biny Andrews. I thought and prayed much that night of gratitude that this moment was happening and of all that I wanted and needed to teach her. I knew I was holding a precious daughter of His and felt how sacred and significant a mothers role is... think about, I have a stewardship over her to help to prepare to become more like our Heavenly Parents. Woah! Plus, feeling so much love and admiration that we have the opportunity to participate in creating life. My whole perception of every person changed in those moments. We are each so loved and I wanted to treat everyone as they deserve to be treated, with.so.much.love. My nurse came in to check on me about every 3 hours and each time I confirmed we were ok and that I didn't want her to go to the nursery. I wanted skin-to-skin after for at least an hour after birth but my expectations were blown out of the water as I had no idea that I would get to keep her ALL night and the next day. The only time she left me was for her hearing exams and then for about 2 hours while Nate and I took a nap on the second day because the high wore off and I felt the aftermath of my incredible workout! I became aware of every muscle in between my ribs and my arms were very sore as well. Breastfeeding was a difficulty and I was grateful for lactation specialists! My advice is if you plan to breastfeed, take a dang class! I should have. Nevertheless, I had such a pleasant experience with the staff, food, my accommodations, and care. How magical, it made me want to be a nurse in labor and delivery or postpartum! They get to help create this incredible, special, introductory experience of mother and child. The time had come, I now have a daughter, and just like every body says,
Life will never be the same... but isn't that exciting?!
NOW- Now that it has been almost 4 months when I am finishing this last part, I am so delighted to have Sailor as a daughter. There's something to be said about first babies, you learn oh so much together and I am grateful for time that has allowed for our bond to become so great and special and make me ever so excited for the present and the future! She is so fun and I love looking into her eyes and her looking back and knowing that I love her. You should be super excited to be a mom or a dad, an aunt, friend, neighbor, or any influence over precious souls as babies!!! We all started out as a wee babe and we all still need many of the same things babies need. What a great need to love, to feel it, to know it, to show it! You are loved Miss Sailor Rae of sunshine! Welcome to the world!!
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